Being a Husband: The Science and the Art

Being a husband is both a science and an art. It’s a science because there are certain principles that will help you know what to do and what not to. And it’s an art because you have to “customize” these principles to fit your relationship. I’ve learned that love is an essential, indispensable part of a happy marriage, but it doesn’t revolve around love only. There’s also patience, understanding, and comfort. Here I’ve compiled a list of what I learned about being a husband, and about marriages in general.

Value Her

Sometimes we get used to having our wives take care of us that we tend to take them for granted. I don’t want my wife to ever feel like she’s not appreciated, so now and then I give her “little surprises.” These surprises can consist of breakfast in bed, doing some of her chores when I don’t have work, and taking her out on a date.

Don’t Let a Small Thing Turn into a Big Thing

Sometimes, when spouses argue, the littlest thing could turn into something huge that was never the root of the fight in the first place. I remember one time I was 15 minutes late for a date my wife and I planned. Naturally, my wife became upset, and we argued. That bit of tardiness turned into a heated discussion about each other’s list of flaws and left us both exhausted and angry afterwards.

I realized that letting your emotions get the best of you will lead to outbursts you might regret later on. Now, whenever my wife and I feel like our arguments are getting out of hand, we take a breather. We pause, part from each other’s company for a moment, then talk about it more calmly afterwards. This yields more positive results, and prevents a big fight. Continue reading

What It Means to be a Dad

Father Watching His Infant Sleep

I fell in love four times in my life. The first was with my beautiful wife, Darlene. The second, third, and fourth were when my three lovely daughters were born. No happiness is as pure and sweet as the one that comes from being a dad. Every day I look at them, and I renew my vow each time—that I would be the best father to my children. This is the reason why I’ve changed my lifestyle. I’m now more attuned to the needs of my children, and I want to give them the best possible childhood.

Setting Priorities Straight

During my pre-parent days, I’ve always considered what I wanted, what I needed. But the arrival of my children has also marked the alteration of my priorities. Now I think about what’s best for them, even if that means giving up some of the activities I’ve gotten used to. I used to smoke, and although I often attempted to stop, I never seemed to completely stop. That all changed the first time I saw my firstborn in the nursery. Something inside me seemed to shift, and after that moment, I never picked a cigarette stick again.

When you become a father, you instinctively stop doing something you know is bad for your child. That seems to be the case for me. Now my family is foremost in my priorities.

Protective Dad

I want to be the cool dad, the one my girls can treat as their friend. But sometimes my protective instinct kicks in strongly, and I just want to bundle them up and spirit them away to some place where they’ll never get hurt. I know this is a normal reaction most fathers have.

This protective instinct is also the reason why I child-proof, as much as possible, all the places where my kids are likely to go. Like the car and the house. I make sure to fix those areas that will possibly do them harm.

Physical protection is not my only concern. I also ensure that they’re financially and emotionally secure. My wife and I are implementing an emergency fund, paying for insurance coverage, and funding their college education. Continue reading

Sports with My Kids: Highly Enjoyable, Always Satisfying

They say that kids should have an active lifestyle, as this will positively contribute to their growth, health, and development. At least one day in a week, my family and I have family day, where my wife and I take the kids somewhere and play our favourite sports activities. These sports often take place on the beach, so that after sweating it out, we can take a dip on the waters or relax under the sun. The following are the sports my family often plays.

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Frisbee

There’s nothing like a game of Frisbee to get my kids all hyped up. We usually bring an additional person—a cousin, a friend, or some relative—to play with us and even out the teams. My wife and I always play on opposite sides to make sure the kids are well-supervised. I love the rush of friendly competition, but most of all, I love the looks on my daughters’ faces when they’re trying to score.

Beach Volleyball

My family and I have a different version of beach volleyball. We use an inflatable beach ball, and there are no nets. We just toss the ball to one another back and forth until someone fails to catch it and it falls to the ground. When that happens, the one who failed to catch it has to do a little presentation for the family, whether it’s singing, dancing, or acting. This is a fun way to interact with the kids and at the same time appreciate their talents.

Whenever my kids and I play this, laughter and giggles abound because every one’s keeping their eye on the ball and focusing on keeping it aboveground. Sometimes the desire not to lose results to some funny antics that are the topics of conversation on our way home. Continue reading

The search for a family dentist

The family dentist, maybe the only professional more feared than the family doctor, and we had to find a new one. Our usual dentist, a gentleman who could calm even the most unsettled patient, moved out of state and left our little family with no one to see to our dental care.

girls

Personally as long as he or she gets the job done and remembers to numb me before any drilling happens, I’m not too picky, but my youngest is petrified of the dentist, so we needed someone with a solid bedside manor. Being the brave one, I got an appointment for a cleaning with the next name down on my insurance providers list to test it out for the family. In retrospect, I probably should have spent a little time looking at online reviews on Yelp first.

Again, I’m not a picky person, but this guy was terrible. It was the only time someone had caused me serious pain during a teeth cleaning. He barely spoke to me at all before shoving his gloved hand into my mouth an grinding away at my teeth like he was trying to carve a face into them. At one point he used a pick to get off some stubborn plaque, okay so I don’t always floss, and dug in so hard that my gums started bleeding. He didn’t so much apologize as give a sort of expressive grunt and shove a wad of cotton in my mouth to keep the blood out of the way while he worked. I went away with clean teeth, bloody gums, and a much stronger appreciation for my old dentist.

We avoided the issue for a while, but my oldest has lost quite a few of those baby teeth, so we’re playing for keeps now. Eventually I broke down and decided to make another appointment. I might be willing to live with my own mistakes, but I didn’t want my baby girl to suffer for my apparent lack of judgement when it comes to dentists, so I asked some asked some local friends, and they recommended their Goodyear Dentist (visit site). That was a little better than going in blind, so I went ahead and made the appointment.

Honestly, it was a world of difference, from the person on the phone making the appointment to the moment we left. My oldest is a trooper, but that dentist took such good care of her that I could even see my little girl getting up in that big scary dentist’s chair. As long as I bribe her with ice cream when we’re done.

I’ve definitely learned my lesson on picking health professionals at random. Not my smartest moment, but live and learn I suppose. At least I subjected myself to it and not one of the girls or my wife.. Now I’m happy to say we’ve got a family dentist again. Hopefully this one likes the area, because I’m not looking forward to doing this type of search again any time soon.